


The Letter That Finally Came

by Acai



Series: Letters [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Happy ending... kind of?, M/M, Part Two, Sadstuck, You guys asked for this, johnkat - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-15
Updated: 2015-07-15
Packaged: 2018-04-09 10:18:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4344704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Acai/pseuds/Acai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Part Two of "Letters" Series.<br/>"In all honesty you felt a little bit numb. You weren’t sure how you were supposed to react, because while deep down there was this unimaginable aching pain that wouldn’t go away and made you want to stay in bed all day… at the same time there was your brain screaming at you to suck it up. There’s also the half of you that wishes that you had just sucked it up then, too and gone and talked to John. If you hadn’t started the whole letter thing, you wouldn’t be hurting so badly right now. Would you even care?"</p><p>Or</p><p>The sequel to the one where John and Karkat trade letters in secret and it turns into so much more<br/>{Sadstuck, JohnKat}</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Letter That Finally Came

**Author's Note:**

> Well, you all wanted a sequel and here it is! I sat down to write and couldn't find a good prompt so I decided to go with a sequel to 'Waiting for a Letter That Won't Come', and a lot of you were commenting on that and requesting more. :)  
> On that note, I would LOVE for you all to message me with prompts for one-shots PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! I will write for any ship and any theme, and if I use your prompt I will give you credit and subscribe to you. It would be so appreciated for you to leave requests! Thank you all so much, and please enjoy the story! Leave your feedback and please do point out any errors you may find!  
> >

In all honesty you felt a little bit numb. You weren’t sure how you were supposed to react, because while deep down there was this unimaginable aching pain that wouldn’t go away and made you want to stay in bed all day… at the same time there was your brain screaming at you to suck it up. There’s also the half of you that wishes that you had just sucked it up then, too and gone and talked to John. If you hadn’t started the whole letter thing, you wouldn’t be hurting so badly right now. Would you even care?

          That’s when you pause and ask yourself again, _if John and I didn’t write letters, would I even care that he’s dead now?_ The answer, of course, is yes. Of course you would care. You would notice the difference in the team without him and you would feel some remorse over the loss but you wouldn’t be feeling this blood-pusher-wrenching stabbing feeling and the constant sadness looming over you. You wouldn’t feel sick at the thought of eating and you wouldn’t constantly feel so… empty? That’s why you’re so torn on whether or not you’re glad the notes were sent. You can’t tell whether or not you want to never have had that happen and feel okay right now, or whether you’d rather it like this.

          You do know that you’re glad you did write letters at the same time. You’re relieved you’re not feeling nothing about his death. You’re nearly glad that you didn’t just discard his death as nothing. If anything, your only regret is not saying something about them. It was a secret you both shared, that was the point. That’s why it was so special. It was a secret because you both knew—you both thought, that you would someday confront it when someone won. Someone did win, _you won,_ but you never got to confront the notes. The notes passed between you and John remained a secret. The secret, though, no longer was fun and sentimental and warming to think about. It wasn’t a game. The secret was something clawing at you and it wasn’t a game with John anymore, it was something that lingered in a box under your bed, it was something that lingered in your mind and screamed that it didn’t want to be a secret anymore. That was the unspoken agreement, when someone won the secret would be dropped yet it was still left unknown and silent to the world. It was tearing you apart, little by little.

You slowly reach under your bed and pull out the box. It is completely filled with each and every letter you ever sent, and that he ever sent you. When he died you searched through his room until you came across a small crate where he kept several books and movies and his laptop. Hidden under everything were the hundreds of notes. You took them with you and placed them with the ones you kept from him. You were filled with a warm feeling at the thought that he hadn’t just discarded every note. You dug through the notes as you sat on the floor. There were whole conversations, several ones that just held knock-knock jokes from John, and some week-long debates on old romance movies. The instruction-filled note that started it all sat at the very bottom. You lightly placed a finger on the last note John sent you and debate opening it. A knock sounds on your door and you let the note flutter to the ground in surprise. You place it in the box and kick the wooden thing under your bed once more. You open the door to find none other than Rose Lalonde standing in your doorway.

“What do you want?” You scoff. She smirks at you, asking if she could come in. You begrudgingly allow her to sit on your bed next to you. You open your mouth to let out a smart remark, hopefully getting her to leave you alone, but she beats you to it.

“When John…died… you had a conversation with him, in which you stated that you had beat him at something. If you wouldn’t mind me asking… I have been rather curious as to what that conversation was about.” You swallow, and stare at the wall. You could tell her. You could let everyone know and let the secret out of its cage so you could stop hearing it pounding its wings on the metal confinements of its cage. But you don’t know if you want everyone knowing just yet.

“It was just a stupid game we kept up.” You mutter.

“For how long?”                                                               

“Er… the whole three years, I think. But… it was dumb. It was just… we… I don’t know, we wrote these dumb notes back and forth. They didn’t have any meaning and they were all just so pointless and brief… We never talked about them, though. Not even to each other, which was kind of stupid. That just became a rule of the game though, we would only talk about the notes when someone lost.”

“And… how did someone lose at this… game?”

“By not writing a note back. That was the whole point. They were so incredibly stupid that the whole objective of the game was to stop the other person from writing a reply. Neither of us ever did miss a day though, so when he…you know, then I told him that I was going to win. I can write as many letters as I want now, and he can sure as hell read them, but he has no way of winning the game at this point. I mean, he’s already lost I guess but it doesn’t matter. It was so, so stupid. All of it. Just stupid.” Rose is watching you, silent as you try and blink back tears. You mentally yell at yourself, why are you _crying?_ Are you really going to _cry_ over that moron? Yes, yes you think you are. You draw in a deep breath and try and send a scowl at Rose.

“The point of it is still to keep it a secret so, you know, don’t go around putting that in all of your gossip, okay? That would be kind of fucking stupid.” Rose just grins her signature grin and is out of your door before you can even blink. You give the box, which still pokes out of your bed, a swift kick and collapse onto the bed. Here comes the fucking waterworks again, huh? You roll over and bury your face in a pillow, letting the pillow become mildly drenched and yourself to slip into an unfit sleep.

___________000000000___________

You are fairly sure that your dream-self was dead. At least you were, but you’re standing here in these really dumb clothes and you’re in your room back on Alternia. You gaze around the cluttered space and find your dead lusus curled on the ground. He’s not dead here, though. His chest rises and falls and he is merely sleeping. This comforts you just a little. A bang resounds through the hive and you whirl around. It’s a dream, and you can’t get hurt in a dream, right? No, that’s a load of shit. You’ve been truly and actually killed in dreams before. You grab a weapon. The door swings open and you smack the intruder as hard as you can with your ‘weapon.’ You pause and you are glad you chose a stuffed dragon the belongs to Terezi.

It’s not an intruder. It’s John fucking Ebgert. He gives you a small wave and a smile and you feel anger bubble up inside of you. You smack him harder with the stuffed dragon.

“How,” smack. “Dare,” a harder smack. “You go,” you pour all your pain into this small toy and John’s stomach. “And _die!_ ” You feel the strength leave you and your last hit is feeble and half-hearted. John just cracks another grin.

“Yeah, okay, sorry about that.” You’re about to explode into another fit with the red dragon but he stops you. “I read your note, by the way. Touching, I think. I’m also afraid that I cannot allow you to win the game.” He trails off with a small smirk as he pulls out a little folded piece of paper, which he hands to you. You hold it in numb hands. You feel a small tear work its way down your face and you wipe it away angrily.

“You’re a complete asshole.” You mutter. He laughs and you feel yourself let another couple of tears slide down your face. “No, really. What were you thinking?” John just shrugged, still smiling. You allow yourself to chuck the small dragon at his face. You watch as John lets the smile drop.

“I do have to go now, though. You’re going to wake up soon. I only called you here so that I could give you that,” he gestures to the letter. “So when I leave hurry up and read it, okay? I gotta go… but it was nice seeing you one last time! Bye, Karkat.” He gives you another small little wave and a smirk and you stare up at him. There’s tears running down your face still and you angrily swipe them away again and he opens up the door. You mutter your own good-bye, finishing the thought with a weak, “asshole.” He lets out a cheerful laugh and you reach out to touch his hand before he goes. He links your hands together in a firm grip, sending you one last soft smile.

Your links hands slip apart slowly as he turns and walks out the door. Even when the door is closed you leave your arm outstretched. A small whimper escapes your throat because you know you really will never see him again this time. You hesitantly wipe away the tears again and unfold the letter. The more it progresses the more you give in to the tears streaming down your face. You give in to them completely when you see that he signed the note the same way he did the first time he replied, _-John._

You clutch the note to your chest and slide down so you’re leaning against your lusus. He stirs and purrs appreciatively at the company and you clutch his side and sob because you don’t want to say good-bye to him, either. You feel his rough face nuzzle your head and you slowly slip the note into his claw. You know that your lusus will keep the last note safe. You close your eyes and focus on your lusus’ breathing as you let the room fade around you and the world where you still reside comes into focus around you once more.

You reach for a pencil and a slip of paper. You’re not going to write a note to him, no, you know that you’re content with letting him win this. You’re writing down just what his last note said. It’s not the real thing, but it’ll help you remember what he said word for word either way.

You’re okay with letting them go, you think. Everyone who’s gone. They can go wherever the dead want to fucking go and you’ll stay be apart from all of them for a long time still. You’re okay with letting the secret go, too, you think. It can come out of that small metal cage and beat it’s wings like it wants to.

You’re okay with letting it all go, now, even if, for now, you’re here.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all so much for reading this! While I do feel it in no way lived up to the first and am still hesitant to post this in worry it may mess up the ending I was content with, many of you requested more so here it is. Once more, I am accepting prompts for ALL ships and ALL genres, so if you have a request please do leave it! Also please do point out any errors you may find and please leave whatever feedback you may have! I hope you enjoyed ^-^  
> (Thank you all so much for showing back up for the sequel and sticking with me, too!)


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